If you’ve been cheated on, no matter how it is revealed or how it is done, where, when, or with whom, the painful fact is that cheating means you’ve been …
Today, I want to give you a little present, to help you get through this Valentine’s day, whatever your situation and wherever you are in the process.
Joy is one of the most difficult feelings for us to allow ourselves to feel, because it automatically makes us incredibly vulnerable. When we allow our hearts to fill with the indescribable feeling of joy, we become vulnerable to the possibility of it being taken away, our hearts being crushed, and our hopes dashed on the hard ground of despair.
I often have partners who come to see me ask within the first session or two, “How will I ever trust my cheating spouse again?” My answer to them is that this is not the best question to be asking. The better question to ask is, “How will I rebuild trust with myself? How will I learn to trust my gut and know what I know?”
This week we are going to look at what happens to betrayed partners when they are lied to and manipulated chronically over time in order to keep secret behavior hidden.
There are four primary types of gaslighting behaviors: the straight-up lie, reality manipulation, scapegoating and coercion. Last week we looked at the straight-up lie and reality manipulation. This week we are going to focus on scapegoating and coercion.
Many of you have contacted me to ask, “What were the four types of gaslighting?” So, to answer your question, I’ve decided to write a series of posts where I will define gaslighting and unpack the four types.
I have a vision for you as well, a vision based on the healing I have experienced and the extraordinary changes I see taking place in the lives of betrayed partners every day.
As we begin a New Year together, this is the question I want us to contemplate: is betrayal the event that, if we allow it to, will produce positive transformation in our lives beyond anything we would have thought possible? Can we become the hero of our betrayal story?