Trying to Find a Short-Cut

One of the biggest things to expect as you begin to recover from betrayal trauma is that your healing will happen as a process. By definition, processes unfold over time. …

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The Temptation to Make Big Decisions Fast

Humans do not like uncertainty. We like a clear direction. An arrow pointing the way. A road that is paved and marked with bright yellow stripes showing us where to …

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Should I Cut My Losses?

“Should I cut my losses and leave now?” If you’ve asked this question, you’re not alone. Many if not most betrayed partners wrestle with thoughts about whether they should cut …

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Am I Staying Forever?

After discovery of infidelity, betrayed partners often feel pressured to make a black and white decision about leaving or staying in their relationship. Adding to this pressure is a sense …

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Stay or Leave: Permission to Not Know

In the immediate aftermath of discovering betrayal, emotions run high for both the betrayed partner and the offending partner. There is chaos and confusion about what has happened and what …

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To Stay or To Go: That is the Complicated Question

One of the biggest issues facing individuals whose relationships have been damaged by a partner’s infidelity is the decision to stay in or leave their relationship. The breach of trust …

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Misplaced Anger After Betrayal

If I had a nickel for every betrayed partner who has told me a horror story about contacting the cheater’s affair partner, I could buy myself and several friends a …

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RESISTING THE TEMPTATION TO ISOLATE AFTER BETRAYAL

In the aftermath of betrayal, it can be tempting to isolate – curling into yourself and hiding away from the rest of the world. When you are wounded, particularly in …

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REBUILDING SAFETY: THE MOST IMPORTANT STAGE

Last week, we talked about the first two stages in the process of rebuilding safety after betrayal: getting help and getting honest. Many couples going through the process of healing …

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THE THREE STAGES OF REBUILDING SAFETY

The most significant need partners have in the aftermath of betrayal is for their sense of relational and emotional safety to be restored. Infidelity lays siege to a betrayed partner’s attachment …

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