WHY WE SHERLOCK, PART 1

Yes, I did. I just turned Sherlock into a verb. Someone slap a trademark on that for me, please. As you’ve probably already guessed, what I want to talk about …

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BUT IF NOT

My sister is a potter. Well, really she is an artist and one of the ways she expresses all the pent-up artistic ability she carries around is through pottery. I …

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SETTING REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS AFTER BETRAYAL

In the aftermath of betrayal, your body and mind are struggling with an ongoing trauma response. As we have discussed elsewhere, betrayal is something that unfolds over time, and your …

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VALIDATING YOUR FEELINGS

We are not quite done with the topic of feelings. There is one more big kindness that you can show yourself around your feelings, and when you do it, it …

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CREATING SPACE FOR YOUR FEELINGS

We live in a culture that does not approve of big feelings. We don’t approve of little feelings very much either. All the feelings that we have are supposed to …

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The Secret to Recovery: Slow Down to go Faster

Last year, a group of my friends and I decided to work through a book by Tara Mohr called Playing Big. This book is for women who want to play …

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Trying to Find a Short-Cut

One of the biggest things to expect as you begin to recover from betrayal trauma is that your healing will happen as a process. By definition, processes unfold over time. …

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The Temptation to Make Big Decisions Fast

Humans do not like uncertainty. We like a clear direction. An arrow pointing the way. A road that is paved and marked with bright yellow stripes showing us where to …

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Should I Cut My Losses?

“Should I cut my losses and leave now?” If you’ve asked this question, you’re not alone. Many if not most betrayed partners wrestle with thoughts about whether they should cut …

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Am I Staying Forever?

After discovery of infidelity, betrayed partners often feel pressured to make a black and white decision about leaving or staying in their relationship. Adding to this pressure is a sense …

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